Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Fast Woman

Fast Woman Stops Time

Two things about me.

1) Maybe it’s a writer thing, but I spend lot of time in AnnWorld.

2) When I have things to do, I move at warp speed.

Yesterday, as I waited in the grocery check-out line, I vowed I’d be faster than the two women in front of me. After the checker rang up my purchases, he asked if I needed help. Me? Did I look as if I needed help? He must be kidding.

I gave a little snort and laughed. “Thank you, but they (meaning the carry-out kids) aren’t as fast as I am.” With that, I tossed my purse into the child seat and took off.

It wasn’t until I reached my car and hoisted the case of water into the back that I realized the other $60 worth of groceries was nowhere to be seen. How could that be?

Here’s how. The weight of the water had deceived me. And, being in AnnWorld, I’d neglected to look inside the cart. I could have been pushing a dead body and not known it. But I’d proven my point—I was fast all right.

As I rolled my cart back to Aisle 13, I was met with several smiling faces. Not only was my checker grinning, so were other checkers, sackers, and customers.

Trying to maintain what little dignity I had left, I smiled at the girl holding my grocery bags and asked, “Couldn’t you catch me?”

“We didn’t know what happened to you!” she said.

By this time, everyone was laughing. Even me.

Then I saw the woman who’d stood behind me in line. Still there. Had time stopped? Or had she merely hung around to see if I’d re-materialize.

Later that evening, my husband suggested what I should have done—strolled nonchalantly back to Aisle 13 and asked, “Got ’em bagged yet?”


Candace said...

Hey Ann, I'm a fast woman too! Too often, I find myself zooming back to where I was, muttering "oh crap" under my breath for whatever I breezed by on my way out. But hey, I get a lot done. Bet you do, too.

Ann Whitaker said...

I'm fast until I stop. Then I plop. You know a body in motion stays in motion, but a body at rest...